Dear Younger Me,
Thank you for not giving up! I know things have been really rough but your faith, patience, and determination got you through every obstacle you faced. See, I knew you were strong because even when it was so much easier to give up you never did! Remember that time you found out you couldn’t go to college right after graduating high school? I know that was a tough time for you because that wasn’t what you planned but you made sure you went to school the following semester. And you even managed to graduate in three and a half years with your B.A. It was nowhere near easy but look at God!
Even when your issues with your mom we’re getting the best of you, you decided to seek counseling. I noticed the depression you were falling into but I knew not to worry because you always make a way. I had to pray for you in college when your friend was killed back at home. I know that affected your finals and grades heavily. But I prayed every day for you because you couldn’t fail that semester. And with God by your side you didn’t!
I also remember that time you isolated yourself from your family because they kept intervening in your problems with your mom. I know you felt like nobody had your back but they were just trying to help in the best way they knew how to. However, I also knew that wasn’t what you needed at the time but I’m grateful you made it through. I know you felt very lonely but that time to yourself was needed. Now you know how to handle those issues on your own. And you’ve also learned to accept that you and your mother may never have a perfect relationship but you are grateful for what y’all have right now. You guy’s relationship taught you that there is no harm in loving someone from a distance.
And I can’t forget about how hard of a time you were having when you first graduated college because you couldn’t find a permanent job. You didn’t even know what career path you really wanted to follow. You were so confused and lost for the next few years while trying to find your way. But again, you stuck it through! Even when your manager got your fired and you were unemployed for 9 months (check out Workplace Friends or Workplace Foes for full story) you prevailed. You were down and out for so long but so many people told you not to worry. You even lost 10 lbs and had a horrible hormonal acne outbreak due to the stress and depression. And just when you told yourself it was time to let God give you a job on his timing your dream institution to work at called you for an interview.
Over these past four years you learned that depression is no joke! You also learned how to fight through and get through it each time. You are still growing and learning but you aren’t who you were anymore. Now, you speak up for yourself more, you found a church home that you’ve been searching years for, you have a boyfriend that is on your journey with you to help you find inner peace, and most importantly, you have more faith in God than you ever did. You’re doing great Jas!
Again, thank you ‘younger me’! Thank you for going through everything and getting through it while being your toughest because without those struggles I wouldn’t be the Jasmine I am today. Thank you younger me! Thank you for pushing through, for fighting those tough battles, for wanting more than what you had at the time, and for always coming out stronger than you were before you went in.
If you are suffering from depression, stress, anxiety, or anything related and need an outlet please visit https://nycwell.cityofnewyork.us/en/ for confidential assistance. Don’t be ashamed to do what’s best for you!
Meet the Writer
Jasmine Barlow is a twenty-six years young woman born and raised in Staten Island, New York. She graduated with her B.A in Mass Communications from SUNY Oswego. Jasmine currently works in finance but is passionate about writing. She recently launched Wolrab On Wednesday, a discussion forum to engage both young men and women in discussions about taboo topics. Check her out on Instagram: @wolrabonwednesdays & @wolrab_ .