There was a time where I couldn’t imagine giving up my current life to start a new one. I was content with how things were going in my love life and even at my job. My thought process was “I will never find someone like this person” and “I will never find a job that pays what they pay even though it sucks working here”. I was using my past experiences and the experiences of those around me to measure how much I was somewhat lucky. There were people in other relationships going through worse than I ever dealt with and I convinced myself that I was good with who I committed to and I was good where I was at. While the person I was with wasn’t perfect they were mine and I had someone to call my own. We had history and that history meant a lot to me. We had experienced a lot together and had plenty of great moments that I didn’t want to let go of nor did I want anyone else to experience how good of a person they were or could be. You don’t realize that you’re holding on to how things used to be and the hope of things getting better.
We hold on for dear life with hopes that there will be a happily ever after one day but essentially the relationship doesn’t get better and we’ve allowed ourselves to go in circles because we refuse to let go and start over. There will come a day where so much has happened that you have no choice but to let go. There’s beauty and resilience in that. The universe lets you know that you have to be brave enough to move on and start fresh. The universe will tell you “let go or get dragged!”
You don’t have to forget about the moments or how good of a person they were. But you do have to realize that they no longer serve you and it’s okay if you let go and they find someone new. It’s okay if you let go and you find someone new, sometimes that someone is you! Sometimes your job no longer serves you it’s okay to put yourself first and start another one. It’s okay to take a pay cut in order to have forty extra hours of peace a week. Happiness is not about the people or things you have in life it’s a state of being okay with the way life plays out even if it’s not the way you planned.
Being fearless allowed me to start over to see who I can be by myself. I wanted to start a relationship with myself to learn more about what I wanted, liked, didn’t like and what I needed. I ended a relationship and demoted myself at my job around the same time and my life changed completely. Once I made the decision to start over and take control of my own life I also made a promise to myself to never go back. Whoever is meant to be in my life will have to be on the same wavelength as me, they will have to meet me where I am as I expand my horizons. Till this day, giving myself the power to start over was the best thing that ever happened to me.
I found peace in my demotion and it allowed me more time to myself to re-evaluate and to explore other options until I found myself at another job. Another job that had a relaxed and inclusive working environment where I could be myself, feel purposeful and valued. I took a small pay cut but within a year was making 10k more than when I started!
Starting over gave me the opportunity to meet someone new who loved me in ways I didn’t know was possible because I was so closed off to new love. I had never seen a love like this up close and personal, so I wasn’t aware that it even existed. They too, are a good person who understands my love language and are committed to seeing me smile daily. There are other good people, jobs and friends out there, but it’s about finding the ones that are good for you!
I am no longer afraid to let people or jobs go and start over because new love, opportunities, friendships, and jobs that value me do exist. Nowadays I do what’s best for me and my sanity and I only want what God wants for me. I’m no longer attached to any idea, plan, person, or job. The only thing I am attached to is my peace of mind. I’ve also realized no one and nothing belongs to me and vice versa which makes it so much easier for me to let go, let God and never settle.
Meet The Writer
Le-Aisha Lenae is a 20 something year old writer, author and poet. She recently released her debut short story poetry book “To Showing Myself More Love” on Amazon about her self-love process through childhood and adult experiences. She is a self-love advocate and loves to provide others with information to help them elevate. She is currently pursuing her MSW to one day be a licensed social worker. Other than that you can find her binge watching Netflix shows and telling everyone she’s busy. Follow her on Instagram @leaisha.lenae !