Closure or Close the Door?!

closure

 

I’m going to be as straightforward as possible. You do not need closure, what you need to do is close the door. If someone wants to exit your life let them exit. If someone doesn’t want to be with you in the way that you want to be with them, you do not need closure. You need to either let it go or deal with it on their level. If you choose to deal with it keep in mind, you can only blame yourself for any harm or hurt that comes next or in the end.

Closure is you making sure that the person you deal with is sure of how they feel about you and the situation. Closure is you wanting to know “What happened” after giving your all. Closure is when you are trying to convince yourself that the situation isn’t what it is. So you basically want that person you’ve been dealing with to lie to you. They don’t want to hurt your feelings more than they have already and so they’ll fabricate their reasons for leaving. They’ll tell you something like “ I just need time for myself”, “I don’t want to be in a relationship anymore”, “I love you but we need a break”, “I just want to focus on school”, “ I got a lot on my plate and I don’t need any extra stress”. While some of these may be true, I’m a firm believer that if someone wants you in their life you will be in their life. If someone sees how valuable you are you will feel valuable. If someone wants to be in a relationship with you they will be no matter what. Sometimes people think they don’t want a relationship until that right person comes along to change their mind. Sometimes you just aren’t the right person.

The worst is when someone you’ve been dating or in a relationship with, just stops talking to you, starts acting funny or leaves you hanging. It can be for many reasons, maybe you are the problem, may be they do need to be by themselves, maybe they had a change of heart, may be they met someone else. Whatever it is, they do not want it to include you anymore. After you let someone know how you feel, or that you want to work it out and they’re just not trying to hear it, leave it alone and close the door. If someone can’t communicate with you about their actions or why they are breaking up with you, close the door. You deserve that much and if they can’t give it to you, that’s not someone you want to deal with. Period.

If you want to open the door back up for them, that’s on you and that’s a different topic. But as for now, stop blaming your lack of moving on or making a decision to let go on not having closure.

 

The closure you need is the conversation you need to have with yourself. Learn how to deal with yourself when it comes to what you want, what you deserve, and what you will not settle for and deal with. That should be enough. When you love yourself you don’t allow anyone to love you any less. If their love and effort doesn’t match your love and how you treat yourself it should automatically repel. Find closure in yourself, do what you have to do for you, and let it go.

The ball is in your court, all the time.

 

-Le-Aisha Lenae

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